I think the most fascinating thing that I have discovered since starting work with the chakra oracle cards (aside the fact that I actually am capable of working really well with them) is something that happens in the moments preceding the drawing of the cards. I light a candle and incense corresponding with the chakra I have chosen (whether consciously or by pulling one of the stones that feels right out of the bag) for the day. Then I close my eyes and start to just focus on my energies as I shuffle the cards.
No matter what mood I may have been in since I got up, it is in those quiet moments, alone in the silence or with some music I use specifically for this, that I discover how I am really feeling. As humans we are masters at making whatever it is we are feeling. We mask it under smiles, under anger, under restlessness, under piling more and more work in front of ourselves. Since a young age we are told that certain emotions are bad, that some must be kept hidden and private. And I think, as we grow up, we forget that all emotions are just as valid as each other, that holding things in will be more likely to hurt us (as long as we express those emotions in an appropriate way).
But in the quiet moments we can, if we allow ourselves, peel away the layer of protections we have wrapped around what is truly what we feel. Being giddy can simply have been a manifestation of deep contentment so rarely felt it has been heightened, happiness may simply be the outward representation of our innermost peace. That anger that niggled at you all morning is just a shield hiding all the hurt inside, all the wounds, and that restlessness is nothing but a mask twisted by the sadness that is eating you all inside.
In the quiet moments when I shuffle my cards and concentrate on nothing else but myself and those energies that are mine, I see all this. Some days it makes things easier, it entangles the web that our emotions weave around us. Some days it makes things difficult, opening my eyes to the truth of pain and hurt and sadness that was hidden and that I am unsure how to deal with. I’ve been more open about it all lately, but it is still such an instinct to hide it all.
The cards were so very relevant to how I feel today. I often hide what I really feel because it seems to be the only way to be there for others and to protect myself. But the truth is that I am often careless in how I bury how I feel and the jagged corners of sharp emotions end up hurting me, cutting away at my self-worth and self-esteem more than I like to recognise.
I wish we could all learn to have those quiet moments when we find ourselves, that we could all be allowed that time to get in tune with ourselves. And then if only we could learn how to deal with the real emotions, to understand that there are healthy, healing ways to express them all, then maybe, just maybe we could become better as a people.